Still Procrastinating; The No-Regrets Guide to Getting It Done by Wiley

AARP Still Procrastinating; The No-Regrets Guide to Getting It Done by Wiley

Quoted: [partial text…]

No Standing, No Parking, No Waiting

… frustrating, just like these signs posted when you try to pick someone up. What certain procrastinators may not realize is that someone is waiting for them and that person can’t park, stand, or wait.There are things that have to be done, and they have to be done now.

Procrastination is like stopping a train that left the station: when we procrastinate, we hold others up. We are telling the conductor, “Stop here, stop where I want you to stop” or even “I will get on that train when I want to get on that train.” Eliminating procrastination from our lives is like trying to stop a moving train; it’s not easy. 2013-4-16 17-47-39

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Is it Possible To Overcome Procrastination?

My answer is: Yes. While some may think that procrastination is part and parcel of everyday living and it will be experienced in everything we do, this belief comes from not truly understanding what causes procrastination. Life is certainly not about procrastinating and putting off doing things. By fully understanding what causes procrastination and dealing with the problem at the root, it is the first step to overcoming it.

So if that’s the case, how can you address procrastination?

Procrastination: Symptom of the Issue

To overcome procrastination, you must first realize that procrastination isn’t the real issue.

Procrastination is just the symptom of the issue. The same goes for laziness, poor time management, or lack of self-discipline.
Most people are quick to pinpoint these as the root causes of problems because these are the most accessible answers. The real
reason is something underneath that.

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Also see:

Beat Procrastination Now! – REBT Network: Albert Ellis | Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy 

Guidleines to getting what you want by improving your conversation skills


Getting What You Want – Understanding Human Nature
Improving Your Conversation Skills

We Are Here To Understand Each Other Not To Fight
by HTB | March 26, 2012

People struggle for a feeling of importance. When we deal with people it is important to remember that we are creatures of emotions, feelings, and prejudices rather than creatures of logic. Getting along with others and knowing how to influence them is knowledge.

The art of influencing others is relational to your understanding about human nature. When starting a conversation have your thoughts thoroughly prepared, and smile. A smile is so powerful, I cannot stress its significance enough.

The expression on your face is more important than anything else!   

Even when talking on the phone you need to smile; your smile come through your voice! It is a way of stating that you are  friendly and open to communication and accept the presence of the other person.

People always think about themselves and like themselves much more than they care about any one else in the world. If you want to get along with others and be a good conversationalist, learn to be a good listener first and give the other person a chance to say what he or she wants to say. Just listening to another person gives them a sense of importance.

A good example of what it takes to be influential is when you are on a job interview and you ask yourself, “what does the company want form me?” If you can use that skill to talk about what others want and how or what you can do that will be beneficial to them you will be well on your way to being the beneficiary to everything in the world.

You cannot correct a situation that you condemn with criticism and condemnation and is a useless and dangerous weapon. Your explanations should be addressed with a pleasant voice while inspiring enthusiasm! You must maintain a feeling of respect for their beliefs and feelings and show how a changeable decision would be a desirable interest that will benefit them.

Whenever you’re in a dilemma regarding how to react ask yourself; “how would you feel or react if you were in the other person’s shoes”! Your degree of having a successful conversation and outcome id directly proportional to the amount of control you have over your own thoughts, feeling and reactions.

What you really want is found through obtaining an understanding of each other, not in ‘fighting’ it out. Never tell anyone that they
are wrong. If you have something to prove do it in a manner so that no one thinks you are doing it. Help them find the truth within themselves. Do not act aggressive or superior. Say things like; “it is my understanding …”, “maybe you are right and I am wrong, but I think …”, or “I see this situation as  .. “
Make a decision to leave the person a feeling of dignity and one of understanding.

Everything is possible if you want it and know how to make it happen.

How to handle Sleeplessness at night

You are physically sleepy and tired but your mind is still whirring

You can relax and enjoy a calm state of being.

Whether or not you believe this will work or not, it will work!

Is you mind full of thoughts and you just can’t seem to ‘shut off your brain’ with random excessive thinking? That will certainly cause a sleepless and restless night.

And because many of the thoughts that arise in the mind are counter-productive creating emotions of anxiety, ill will, and self-doubt we must first must reduce the amount of thinking!

There is much more to the mind than inner self-talk and mind chatter!

There is a part of the brain (located in the hypothalamus) which will induce relaxation, it is a physiologic response which means whether or not you believe it will or not has no bearing.

Physiologic responses include heart rate and breathing, or when the doctor taps on your knee with the little hammer– you don’t have to think your leg will jump or not, it will jump.

You can tap into a relaxation response with just two easy steps!

To relax yourself and quiet your minds inner self-talk make sure that you are comfortable and in a quiet place, preferably in bed. Prior to doing this if you have been in bed for a while tossing and turning working yourself up with excess stress and worry I would suggest that you get out of bed and do something for 15-20 minutes that will put your mind some place outside of your own inner thoughts.

You can write down your thoughts as a list of what you need to do. Don’t spend too much time on doing so, simply jot down a list. You may want engage in a little creative writing, read a book or watch some television. Then go back to bed.

Close your eyes. Breathe calmly, slowly and deeply. Keep breathing slowly in and out through your nose completely filling your lungs with air. Concentrate on sensations of relaxing in your physical body. Visualize a wonderful calming place.

Focus on a word or phrase that has a positive meaning to you. I use the word “Solace”. Use positive suggestions such as; I feel calm and serene, I believe in myself, I am special and unique, every day I’m getting better and better in each and every way.

When your mind wanders just let go of the thought and return to your focus word or phrase!

There is only one stipulation in order for this to work, you actually must do it!

A helpful analogy:
Think our our mind as being a pond of water and restless thoughts as pebbles thrown into the water. The ripple of activity creates a disturbance to the tranquil and serene surface so that we cannot clearly see to the bottom – where our most enlightened and wisest self resides.

If You Want To Turn Your Dreams Into Reality Don’t Do These 15 Things

In this post, I’m not going to tell you about the huge changes you need to make in your life in order to achieve your dreams.

Instead, I’m going to share with you what you ought to stop doing. These are things we all do on occasion—things that quietly sabotage our dreams, sap our energy, and make us less alive.

Don’t do these things:

Say “I wish” or “I hope”: Whenever you do this, you put yourself in a mindset where the situation is beyond your control. What you can do as an alternative is turn your wishes and hopes into goals. For example, don’t say, “I wish my boss would give me flexible working hours.” Instead, set a goal that you’re going to have a conversation with your boss within the next three days about establishing flexible working hours. When you set goals, you choose to focus on what you can do to improve your circumstances, which is very empowering.

Complain: This is a favorite pastime for many people. There are always things to complain about: the weather, the economy, the healthcare system, the guy who sat next to you on the bus and hummed a really annoying song… but when you complain, you’re not making your circumstances any better. Instead of complaining, think about the many things you have to be grateful for. I recommend wearing a rubber band around your wrist. Whenever you’re about to complain, snap the rubber band as a reminder not to.

Blame others: If you want to achieve your dreams, you’re going to need to take full responsibility for your life. That means no blaming your parents, friends, relatives or bad luck for where you are in life. Recognize that some things are beyond your control, but take responsibility for the way every situation turns out.

Think of reasons why you shouldn’t take action: There will always be plenty of them. Think of all the positive things that might happen if you take action today.

Settle: Settling for second best is a sure way to prevent yourself from reaching your dreams. This applies to your relationships, finances, career and physical health. Decide that you’re going to create a masterpiece out of your life. Don’t give in to the allure of a comfortable but mediocre existence.

Procrastinate: You can probably think of at least one thing you can do immediately that will bring you closer to your dream. There’s never a perfect time to take action, so do what you can right now.


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Stop Thinking, Start Acting!

It’s Time To Stop Making Excuses and Start Living.

Why is it so important to start today? Why can’t things wait until tomorrow, or maybe the day after that? Or how about next week, or when we have the money, resources, time, blah, blah, blah!


It’s important to start today because putting things off just means that you’re feeding the cycle of making excuses.      

You can’t actively take part in your life while passively waiting for things to happen for you. Waiting doesn’t accomplish anything, at least not when you’re looking to change your life. Plus, why would you want to waste even another moment if you can get started on your new and improved life today?

Complacency and stagnation are the death of personal advancement.

You only have this life to live, so you might as well get the best out of it.

Start by making a list of the things you want! Maybe you wanted to travel to a specific place or learn another language. The sky’s the limit when it comes to your dreams. If you’re planning on really improving your life because you’re feeling defeated, depressed or miserable, you may want to start with things that would have an immediate impact on your self-esteem.

Set reasonable goals: For example, losing five pounds within a month, signing up with a gym, looking for a new job, etc. Anything that allows you to actively take a step further towards the person you want to be, while making you feel good about the fact that you’re taking action, is a worthwhile activity to engage in. If you don’t have the money for a gym, make time for walks. Where there’s a will, there’s always a way!

Dreams sh’meams right everyone? Why do we dream of doing things? Going after things? Accomplishing things? Have you ever noticed how easily children “dream”? We start off as pure beings of innocence – no baggage, no scars, no traumas. Then, for some reason as we become adults, our dreams and belief in our selves gets skewed somehow … leaving us with a dim flame and deep unfulfillment.

Here are some common self-sabotaging thoughts that can creep into our precious (and powerful) minds and begin to stomp out that fire in our hearts. When these thoughts present themselves STOP them.

Be mindful of your own thoughts and do yourself a favor by immediately stopping that negative inner dialogue and replacing it with thoughts of what you do want together with praise for what you have accomplished.  Keep on track!

When you’re thinking: “But, I’m too “old” to go after my dream/s now! I have a family, a mortgage, a decent job … maybe in my next life.”
Tell yourself: Listen to me good. You have ONE life to live as the person you are today. This isn’t a dress rehearsal – this is the show! You should never hinder yourself from pursuing anything your heart desires no matter what age you are or what stage of life you’re in. Life is supposed to be about no regrets – don’t end up regretting the things you never did! If you have a desire, put it to work and start planning. No, you can’t just up and drop your current life, patience will be needed … but the point is, you can do it.