It’s Possible   Leave a comment

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It’s Possible

Like a child in summer having arrived at the beach for the first time
I thrived, basking in the possibilities
The season could not stop me
It was November and I just turned twenty-one
It was cold, very cold in the water
Only the moonlight to find my way into the waves
My best friend waiting with a blanket when I finally came out
Nestled by the campfire my lips were blue
We laughed a lot
I was happy

I used to be so happy  .. .

oregon - florence 2

 
Life happens
you get discouraged
the disappointments

I found no time to adjust, grieve for .. . what was
.. . kept hitting me,
more hurt

I thought to still be happy
I wasn’t ready,
one,
heart-string after another
and still more
heartache & disappointment

I wasn’t expecting this for myself
Surely I could still be happy
mostly
wasn’t I?

I miss what is simple
A hand in my hand
never having to second guess
if,
when
the ironic
inevitable
break
would crush me
The lengths of lone pain .. .

But I remember what it felt like
even in cold rain alone in the dark ocean
I was happy
i was
I haven’t laughed like that in .. .
when was that last time I was in the ocean
.. . with someone waiting to warm me, even ?
there must of been someone?
it seems like it
.. . that there should be

It’s as if I’m lost somewhere else in time .. .
my time, my youth it’s lost – all but gone .
now

If just maybe still …

suppose to be different
this life happening around me
maybe, nah
I don’t think ever there was again anyway .. .
I would have remembered

… just once a love that journeyed on with me-

See, I can still find things that I’ve never done .. .
waiting for me, laughing
brimming over!

Shall I just go in the waves, moon-luminous midnight

aimlessly –

what a foolish notion,
a dream .. . to be of one I (still)  have .. .

oregon - florence south jetty

 

Love
why
must it be cloaked in sadness for me
why
should the most simple and pure of needs
not ever be found
for me ?

Why is such a wicked question.

Why? why, “why” is not the question,
“The question is not why”

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oregon coast

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