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It’s Possible
Like a child in summer having arrived at the beach for the first time
I thrived, basking in the possibilities
The season could not stop me
It was November and I just turned twenty-one
It was cold, very cold in the water
Only the moonlight to find my way into the waves
My best friend waiting with a blanket when I finally came out
Nestled by the campfire my lips were blue
We laughed a lot
I was happy
I used to be so happy .. .
Life happens
you get discouraged
the disappointments
I found no time to adjust, grieve for .. . what was
.. . kept hitting me,
more hurt
I thought to still be happy
I wasn’t ready,
one,
heart-string after another
and still more
heartache & disappointment
I wasn’t expecting this for myself
Surely I could still be happy
mostly
wasn’t I?
I miss what is simple
A hand in my hand
never having to second guess
if,
when
the ironic
inevitable
break
would crush me
The lengths of lone pain .. .
But I remember what it felt like
even in cold rain alone in the dark ocean
I was happy
i was
I haven’t laughed like that in .. .
when was that last time I was in the ocean
.. . with someone waiting to warm me, even ?
there must of been someone?
it seems like it
.. . that there should be
It’s as if I’m lost somewhere else in time .. .
my time, my youth it’s lost – all but gone .
now
If just maybe still …
suppose to be different
this life happening around me
maybe, nah
I don’t think ever there was again anyway .. .
I would have remembered
… just once a love that journeyed on with me-
See, I can still find things that I’ve never done .. .
waiting for me, laughing
brimming over!
Shall I just go in the waves, moon-luminous midnight
aimlessly –
what a foolish notion,
a dream .. . to be of one I (still) have .. .
Love
why
must it be cloaked in sadness for me
why
should the most simple and pure of needs
not ever be found
for me ?
Why is such a wicked question.
Why? why, “why” is not the question,
“The question is not why”
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