February 13th, 2012
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, I guess that’s a good thing if your in love and and dreamy for one another. I find it peculiar to command a ‘loving day’ set in stone, as it seems to be in making it a holiday.
Sure it was fun in grade school because the class got to take time decorating little heart shaped cards with lace and writing your classmates names on them. I remember collecting them, all the different styles and a handwriting – some were very pretty.
I remember one year a stone carver I had met by happenstance through a mutual friend had given me a heart-shaped stone that he made. It was marble or granite, a dark grayish color. It found a place on my dresser with candles and a heart shaped crystal in which I kept my jewelry. Moreover it became known as a mental reference in regards to most of the men that I had known in my life- “cold hearts of stone”.
This year is no different. Guy M. wins that distinct notoriety of displeasure. That truth brutally revealed and forever etched in stone as it has been one year in mending mine from his cold-cold heart.
Because of his illustrious disregard for my well being ~ a once held precious work of art suddenly held no value and left abandoned … holding the bag of homelessness.
I have no place to be. Still I have no home. No place to just be me, not at all ~ not for any length of time. It is simply impossible when you exist in a borrowed space within your own (skin) without within your own (home).
Thanks for that lover “be my girl, be my everything, be my wife, my friend … I need you! bla bla bla.
And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.